You know, a funny thing happen to me on my way to school the other day…

No no no. Wait a second. That’s not how it went at all!

OK, lets try that again.

It was the best of times, it was the worst of times…

… and suddenly, I realized that yes, I was interested in substatial long distance savings!

What?!

OK, look, this is going nowhere. FOCUS. …FOCUS, PEOPLE.

A priest, a rabbi and a hare krishna walk into a bar…

Ahh.. there we go! Finally a little accuracy.

+++

So tell me. What do you get, if you take 1. University; 2. Bioinformatics; 3. Me; and 4. Beer?

I can tell what you may be thinking. But sadly no, this story is not the enthralling version of the story of how I managed to drink my way through an undergraduate degree. But really, that one is the nuts anyways. Rent it sometime.

The answer, dearest, uh, you, is quite simply the most obvious thing in the world. Starts with an ‘M’, ends with an emarassing drunk uncle, and has a whole lot of white in between. Marriage my friends! The answer is marriage. Marriage, marriage, the wonderful fruit, it makes you fart it makes you toot.. Well, I may be out of practice with these classic theme songs. But how? How is this possible?

Well, as I mentioned in my wedding speech (ahem), it turns out that the field of bioinformatics is quite literally responsible for getting two of my good friends started on the path to their eventual unionismism (uh, sic?)! Quite simply, using myself as the ignorant patsy, the experiement carried out involved inviting two friends, strangers to each other but otherwise only strange to me, out for a drink one night to a bar during my ugrad days. And the rest, as they say (and as I said, see awesome wedding speech), c’est l’amour! They met and went out and la la lee dah its wedding time!

Did I mention I wrote a speech for them?

Well buckle yourself up, there’s more.

I… married them.

It was so appropriate that the person who introduced them to each other perform their actual union, that I couldn’t possibly say no to their request. Also, I did it for the simple fact that when I play "I never" in the future I can certainly pull this little feat out of my hat.

So we went up to the cottage, the happy couple rowed to shore in a little boat, I did my bit, and voila! In the eyes of the quebec government everything’s smooth.

Not that I’m bragging, but damn, did I do a good job. You know, it actually helped that half of the people there didn’t quite understand the speech I was reading since it was in English. But far be it for me to raise my own roof.

So there – another couple happily served. It does occur to me that my talents may now very well be in demand among my friends.

I’m printing some business cards.

p.s. Oh yeah.. check it out.. my site isn’t dead.