Woo!

So, after losing a couple of important games in a row at the end of the season, my soccer team was pretty much well aware of the fact that the playoffs were out of our reach. HOWEVER…

In our second to last game of the season, the referee, in his infinite wisdom, decided that 90 minute soccer games are just so "silly", and decided to end the game at a more conservative 75. Why make the players run so much more when they can just stop playing?!

So my team put in a protest. If the protest made it through and was recognized, we would play again for a playoff spot.

Well, it turns out all this wasn’t even necessary.

The league, in its infinite wisdom (and I’m being genuine this time!) decided to allow 8, and not 6, teams into the playoffs this year! So my 7th place team (yeah yeah.. its been a screwy season) is in!

Funny thing is, the reason why we did get in is because we won our last game of the season, a game that we didn’t care about too much or thought had any repercussion on our standings.. we were comitted to missing the playoffs this year. The winning goal of that game, incidentally, came when one of our forwards got booted in the balls by one of their defenders, and their entire team stopped playing to watch him writhe on the floor. Meanwhile, another one of our forwards grabs the ball and scores. Also meanwhile, the downed forward is moaning: "Mes testicules!…"

Looks like the first team we might be playing is the team that had previously beat us 7-1. Yeah, it was a pretty, very, bad game. We’re going to try this new secret strategy next game.. its called… "defense"….

I came to work today and found out that one of my friends has actually finished his doctorate and won’t be coming in any more. Now, the effect of this is threefold: First - My good buddy is no longer available to talk about soccer when I feel like a break; Second - lunchtime will now be an exercise in trying to participate in discussions of the female persuasion; And Third - these girly-talks will be in spanish!

Because of some freak accident in the cosmic balance, there are no less than SEVEN girls in the “group” that somehow all speak the lingua espagnol. Which makes it hard for them to default to their second language, as well as my own, French, for the purposes of conversation.

The way I see it, I have three choices here:

1. Learn Spanish
2. Get a sex change
3. Never eat lunch again

Three is looking good.

So the whole Ireland blog thing didn’t quite work out as well as I planned. Thing is, it’s damn hard to not only write the content, but deal with the happiness that is file uploading and security access ever-present in the hard-to-find internet cafés that are scattered in the towns during your trip. So I said fuck it, and went out drinking instead.

I’m trying out a new theme, because I think the old one is starting to look very dated, and I feel like a fresh start. Something I’m trying out here is called Orange something, which I nabbed from the wordpress site :). I’m hunting down and shooting the girlieness out of it as we speak… it may make an appearance here soon!

Or maybe I’ll just do what I always do and take the lazy way out! Therefore, nothing will change. Ahh.. its good to be back!

I also updated the WP backend - which, magically, now gives my site never-before-seen RSS powers. Eat it.

You know, a funny thing happen to me on my way to school the other day…

No no no. Wait a second. That’s not how it went at all!

OK, lets try that again.

It was the best of times, it was the worst of times…

… and suddenly, I realized that yes, I was interested in substatial long distance savings!

What?!

OK, look, this is going nowhere. FOCUS. …FOCUS, PEOPLE.

A priest, a rabbi and a hare krishna walk into a bar…

Ahh.. there we go! Finally a little accuracy.

+++

So tell me. What do you get, if you take 1. University; 2. Bioinformatics; 3. Me; and 4. Beer?

I can tell what you may be thinking. But sadly no, this story is not the enthralling version of the story of how I managed to drink my way through an undergraduate degree. But really, that one is the nuts anyways. Rent it sometime.

The answer, dearest, uh, you, is quite simply the most obvious thing in the world. Starts with an ‘M’, ends with an emarassing drunk uncle, and has a whole lot of white in between. Marriage my friends! The answer is marriage. Marriage, marriage, the wonderful fruit, it makes you fart it makes you toot.. Well, I may be out of practice with these classic theme songs. But how? How is this possible?

Well, as I mentioned in my wedding speech (ahem), it turns out that the field of bioinformatics is quite literally responsible for getting two of my good friends started on the path to their eventual unionismism (uh, sic?)! Quite simply, using myself as the ignorant patsy, the experiement carried out involved inviting two friends, strangers to each other but otherwise only strange to me, out for a drink one night to a bar during my ugrad days. And the rest, as they say (and as I said, see awesome wedding speech), c’est l’amour! They met and went out and la la lee dah its wedding time!

Did I mention I wrote a speech for them?

Well buckle yourself up, there’s more.

I… married them.

It was so appropriate that the person who introduced them to each other perform their actual union, that I couldn’t possibly say no to their request. Also, I did it for the simple fact that when I play "I never" in the future I can certainly pull this little feat out of my hat.

So we went up to the cottage, the happy couple rowed to shore in a little boat, I did my bit, and voila! In the eyes of the quebec government everything’s smooth.

Not that I’m bragging, but damn, did I do a good job. You know, it actually helped that half of the people there didn’t quite understand the speech I was reading since it was in English. But far be it for me to raise my own roof.

So there - another couple happily served. It does occur to me that my talents may now very well be in demand among my friends.

I’m printing some business cards.

p.s. Oh yeah.. check it out.. my site isn’t dead.