Or, what happens when you head off road in a jeep caravan during hurricane Katrina.

I was really excited about this excursion, because I had already pumped myself up for it on Wednesday, but due to our ignorance of departure time the tour had already left by the time we went to go see "the guy".  So I was understandably carrying repressed pumpiness over the last two days, and I was finally going to be rewarded - except for one minor snag:  a hurricane was rapidly approaching the Gulf of Mexico.

A large group of high schoolers from France were first told by their tour guide that the tour had been cancelled, and we overheard the details - and took a wild guess that the same hurricane that spoiled their fun was the same one that was about to do the same to ours.  A few minutes later, "Pavel" shows up and we ask him what the deal was.  "Cancel?!  We never cancel!"

Giddyup!

Unfortunately the jeeps were all standard transmissions, which no one of us four knew how to drive.  The jeep was a jeep I guess, but I had pictured something more out of a army setting.  I suppose I appreciate the doors and windows in retrospect, but hey, a guy can dream.

Lindsay and I went in one car, and Josh and his gf went in another.  We met up with the rest of the caravan (topping off at 10 cars!) and drove drove drove.  Most of the day was actually spent driving, on routes that were questionably unecessary to take - seeing how a paved highway apparently ran parallel to the Worst Road In The World that we headed down.

Forget pavement.  Forget a normal dirt road.  Like most of the buildings here in Cuba, once made things have a tendency to be left alone.  Years and years of rainfall runoff and cars have made the road a veritable ride of whiplash in all four head directions, often without warning.  However, due to the torrential downpour (thanks, Katrina), large puddles of deep rust-red were forming on the road and making for spectacular splashes as we made our way through them.

First stop: Cave snorkling!

We got to this crazy cave that happened to have a large pool of freshwater lying on the bottom of it, fully fit for people to strap on some goggles and a tube and go for it.  It was dark, it was cold at first, and holy shit was it creepy in some places (notably a tunnel almost devoid of light leading to another pool in the back of the cave), but man, it was great.  One of the highlights of the trip up to that point.

From there we headed to a beach (one of about a million here) and tried our hardest to not only combat the very large waves being generated by Katrina and threatened to sweep us away out to sea.  Not only that, but there was a very real danger of the currents slamming us into the very same coral that we wanted to look at - and we were told very firmly that you needed to avoid doing exactly that at all costs.  The water was a bit murky due to the waves churning up the sand, but we did see a whole bunch of tropical fish and some gigantic brain coral.

From there (and yes, it was off-road yet again) we took a very long and bumpy ride to a ranch that served us our lunches and offered us horseback riding around a nearby lake.  Unfortunately, the rain had once again doubled in power and it was next to impossible to summon up the willpower to go outside and get even more cold and wet than you already were.  Forget the horses, the group spent most of the time sitting under shelter and getting to know each other - which in my opinion is just as good :).

The final, lame stop on the tour was at an old coffee plantation, but yet again, due to the rain, walking around was out because you couldn’t really see much and you would be getting wet yet again for not much.  Half the people stayed in the jeeps.

We finally (and thankfully) headed home, but naturally, the puddles had become small lakes at this point in the day and the small ridges we had easily hopped over before had more or less washed away and the jeeps’ 4×4 drive were put to the test, and was actually very very necessary, especially on the strangest highway on-ramp I have ever seen.  Actually, on-ramp is a bit excessive - more like a hole in a large hedge on the side of a highway.  Mud abounded.  So did jeeps getting stuck in the mud.  Notably our own.  Again.  And again.  We eventually hit it sideways and all was well (well, except for the hedge.).

The most "jungle" we saw during the day was waist-high weeds on the side of the dirt road, and the most "safari" we saw was sparrows flying overhead.  And the tour was self-service.  However, it was a lot of fun, and it was worth it to do it simply to say that I went off-roading in a Jeep caravan during a freaking hurricane.

The makers of Jurassic Park are interested in a story deal.

Or as the gringos like to call it, Havana.  Proper pronunciation above.

The day started out amazing because of one simple reason: It was overcast.  Never had I loved clouds so much as on that day where my sunburned shoulders were pleading with me to never go outside ever again in that nuclear furnace that the Cubans call a country.

We took that ‘big red bus’ (double decker english ripoff) thing into Varadero to meet our guide and the car that was going to be taking us on the 2-hour-plus ride to Havana.  The car turns out to be a ‘58 Oldsmobile still in working order, which makes the parts on this driving boat about twice as old as I am.  Are we comfortable?  Well, it’s a toss up.  On the one hand the legroom I have is phenomenal, and I can actually slouch forwards in the back seat and still not have my knees touch the back of the front;  However, once again the parts are almost 50 years old, and this includes the seat springs, which are happy to protrude right in your ass under the leather seating.  Two hours later, I emerge feeling somewhat violated.

The tour is quick and dirty, but the money we saved (about half) by going on this tour rather than the one the hotel offers is well worth it.  On top of it the guide is friendly nice guy and tells us more about Cuba with his personality and little tidbits of information than any canned tour guide repeating the same phrases for the umpteenth time could do.  We relate tales of our strange and distant land to the driver and the guide (’What do you mean the sun never sets in the artic summer?!’) and ask him questions about the feelings the Cubans really have towards their government and how the socialist system actually works (among intermittent spanish lessons).

Finally there, we drive through town (and the slums) and the first impression I get from the city is that its literally falling apart.  Buildings that once must have been beautiful (our guide confirms this) have been ignored and untouched for so long that the structures themsleves (often with people still living in them) are simply falling to the street below.  However, you can still see that the people of Havana (and there are a lot!) all seem to have houses (however much in a state of disrepair) and all seem to be at least decently fed - in fact, the majority of the people I’ve seen have been actually quite fit and healthy, due no doubt in part that they have to start working at a young age.

We get shown around, see some of the sights very quickly, and head to lunch at a great little hostel place near a old spanish fort.  Pretty much the best Cuban food we’ve had so far, but we certainly had to pay for it.

We eventually headed to town for a little (very rushed) stroll down Obispo avenue (sort of like their commercial street) and looked around the flea market before heading back to Varadero.  I also bought some Cohibas, but that tale will have to wait until you see me in person. 

Ciao for now!

Hey hey, time for a QUICK (18 minutes left!) posty.

The resort is nice, not a four star really, more like a three, but it doesn’t really matter since the alcohol is free and plentiful - so it’s all a blur anyways.  Lindsay and I made up a Rule on the first day here that whenever we passed a bar (of which there are quite a few) we would have to stop and get a drink.  Suffice it to say, the Rule got us pretty hammered by the end of the day.  We casually even brought our drinks in with us to the new tourist orientation in the resort conference room

Lots to do, including going to the city of Varadero by hop-on-hop-off tour bus, but that didn’t work out extremely well when we acidentally took the bus in the wrong direction by mistake (twice!) and ended up walking along the cuban highway with each and every driver honking and offering us lifts.  Having heard horror stories about this sort of thing, we opted to wait to flag down the next tourist bus. 

Sunsets are super-amazing down on the beach, as you can see the entire horizon light up in flame and see the towering single clouds in the distance let loose their torrential rain.  It rains every night more or less, but never really over the hotel - it’s like there’s some force field in place.  You can see up and into the bubble of stars above, but nothing around but a hazy grey-black.

The sun is absolutely brutal - I’ve gone through the very same bottle of sunscreen I bought at the roger’s cup almost completely - and a new bottle of spf 30 will set you back a cool $25 Canadian in the Hotel Tienda (store!)!!  The cashier laughed at me as I gaped at her, and the dude next to me tried to be helpful (’What, you didn’t see that coming?’).

Havana is tomorrow, where we’ve managed to get a tour organized for about half the price of the hotel tour, "Jeep Jungle Tour" is on Friday, and the Catamaran Tour (which includes an open bar on an enormous catamaran as well as a lobster dinner on the privately owned island) looks amazing and is on saturday.  It’s gonna be a good week, if I don’t burn to a crisp first ($25!!! @#*#*&#*&$#!!!!!!!).

Time left: 6 minutes :D later!

Just a quick little post to let everyone (yeah right, who am I kidding…) know that the internet access and computers here in cuba don’t allow me (so far, anyways) to get the pics off my camera and onto here.  Sooo, that means that I either can just write things for $8/hr here in the hotel’s place or try to find something better in town..  Just a heads up that the stories might have to wait a week ;D

But while I’m here… hehehe

The plane ride was a little ghetto (’First’ Air - an airline that services the far north of Canada apparently was the first choice for a trip directly south…) and the craft itself looked like it was either coming apart or had been replaced at some point in a surely distinguished career.  It was also cramped as high hell, but I’ve gotten used to the pain by now.

Stepping off the plane, we were greeted by a pair of military personel looking serious and intimidating, and we proceeded to customs and eventually the bus that took us to the hotel.  After walking around a bit we found the fantastic beach and the pool, and were astounded to find that the water, crystal clear of course, was so warm that it felt like we were immersing ourselves into a relaxing bath.  Of salt water (spit!).

I kept feeling on my hands and legs what seemed to be strong eddies in the water against my skin, but it later turned out that the water is filled with tiny jellyfish which thankfully don’t actually sting.  Of course, we didn’t know this, and panic set in after I grasped one that had made its way into the palm of my hand.  The poor woman next to me never knew what had hit her ;).

Today we took it easy and actually got a change of rooms to one that had a view on the pool instead of the beatiful (?) highway in the back.  I also had my first archery lesson with Jo-el, a local hotel activity guide who also happens to be the one taking everyone to the ‘disco’ tonight.  We’ll see how it goes, but I’m anxious to finally start making friends with people…

Blog you as soon as I can :D

p.s. this internet is timed and expensive so really, screw spell checking and proofreading! I feel so evil.

What to do on the last day in a city (for me, anyways)?  For come Sunday I need to be on a plane departing to Varadero, Cuba from Montreal at 10 am, I therefore need to be in Montreal before then.  So, my Last Day then.  Hey, isn’t Vancouver on the opposite side of Canada?  And HEY, isn’t there an ENITRELY DIFFERENT ocean that it lies against?  AND HEY, isn’t it not polluted like the St. Laurence which means you can actually SWIM in it?

Hey hey hey?

So: with the appropriate Beach Boys refrains dancing through our heads, we make our way to one of the many beaches that Vancouver offers ot its citizens.  It’s almost unimaginable that a metropolis would actually have beaches to swim in on the east coast, because it’s either too far, too polluted or way way way too cold.

Well, as far as the Pacific goes, one out of three is good enough for me!

First, how great is it to be able to swim with MOUNTAINS all around you?

The magnificent view was spoiled somewhat, however, when we approached the shoreline:

Ugh.  Double ugh.  I have a baseless childhood fear of these things, as I imagined that they would grab my ankles and never let go when I went swimming in the ocean as a wee lad.  Although I still think this to a certain degree, my mighty adult brain allows me to overcome such fears and only slightly thrash about like a deranged monkey when I come into contact with the vile stuff.  It also stopped about 2 meters in, so a good jump and I would be safe.  Too bad I didn’t think ahead and try to figure out how I would get out…

The water was fucking freezing, which I should have clued in on because of the many people at the beach, but the few if-at-all who were in the water.  The trick is to go in, go into hypodermic shock, get out, shiver in the wind for 5 minutes, and then get the hell back in the water.  It makes it seem almost warm the second time around.  That and keeping the entirety of your body in the foot of water at the surface where the sun shines its marvelous warmth, and you’re golden.

That’s it for Vancouver, everyone!  It’s been fun as always to write this stuff up, even if I sometimes question the sanity of the whole deal when I run into the inevitable computer problems that come with blogging in a far away place.  I fear that the stupidities will be taken to an entirely new level once I hit Cuba, so I don’t think I’ll be able to do this for every single day - but I’ll be putting something up, so make sure to check back if you’re having fun reading - because that’s a personal side bonus after the pleasure I get writing this bollocks up.

SEE YOU IN VARADERO!