Yeah, a lame post, but hey a lot of people can probably relate.

The Boss

WHEN THE BODY WAS FIRST MADE ALL ITS PARTS WANTED TO BE BOSS…

THE BRAIN SAID: Since I control everything and do all the work I should be boss.

THE FEET SAID:  Since I carry man where he wants to go and get him to do what the Brain wants, I should be boss.

THE HANDS SAID: Since I must do all the work and earn all the money to keep all the rest of you going,  I should be boss.

THE EYES SAID: Since I must look out for all of you and tell you where danger lurks, I should be boss.

And so it went with the Heart, the Ears, and the Lungs.  Finally the Asshole spoke up and demanded that he be boss. All the other parts laughed and laughed at the idea of an asshole being boss.

The Asshole was so angered that he blocked himself off and refused to function. Soon the Brain was feverish, the Eyes crossed and ached, the Feet were too weak to walk, the Hands hung limply at his side, the Heart and Lungs struggled to keep going.

All pleaded with the Brain to relent and let the Asshole be boss, and so it happened. All parts did the work and the Asshole just bossed and passed out a lot of shit.

MORAL:  You don’t have to be a brain to be boss, just an Asshole.

Well, I don’t think I mind not getting any sleep last night, if only because it provides for an interesting story.

Let’s see.  It’s hard to remember.  But not only because of the obvious alcohol issue.  There’s that, yes.  However, there are several other factors which come into play:

1. I was conked on the back of the head with a full champagne bottle; (@ $9 a bottle, what a steal!) 
   
2. I was smacked in the face by a clementine for no apparent reason (not that there was actually a  reason for the champagne);
   
3. I got less than 3.5 hours of sleep last night.

The stories behind this physical harm I had to endure aren’t important (or: I simply can’t remember them…), suffice to say that yes, they did happen.  And no, I don’t know why chaos, and apparently clementines as well, surrounds me.

In my crippled state, I had to come in earlier than usual to work, stay awake for the whole day during the multiple lectures, and give a oh-holy-shit-I’m-nervous presentation of my poster to about 35 people in a crowded hallway.

*FLASHBACK*

[person presenting before me]: “…and that’s all for my poster!”
[crowd]: –OMINOUS SHUFFLE—
[me]: gulp. breathe.  “Hello…”

*END FLASHBACK*

Quote of the day:  After my presentation, I was understandably euphoric, and what better way to express euphoria than a mock fencing match involving water bottles with other students?

[me, referring to my violet Nalgene bottle]:
“I’ve got a big one! And it’s purple!”

Nothing to say, lucky you.  Enjoy.

Sure, it’s “Science”
I’ll start you off with some cool water-baloon zero-grav movies.
Balloon1
Balloon2
Balloon3

I feel Greeeeeeeeaaaaat.
No, it’s not Tony the Tiger.  But it is one of the funniest commercials I’ve ever seen.  Who cares what they’re actually selling.
Nutri-Grain Commercial (large - 10 MB)

Gravity’s got nothing on these slanty-eyed pinkies
Pop the bubble where you want to place your pig. Pile up said pigs to reach the coveted muffins and time bonuses!
http://ferryhalim.com/orisinal/g3/pig.htm

“The program has performed an illegal operation and will be..” *SMASH!* *POUND!* *DESTROY!*
What? You mean computers can be frustrating? The quality of this is in the subtle details. And the smashing.
http://www.inicia.es/de/Turbo_J/metele.html

Drumsteps
So the ball hits the cymbals which opens the trapdoor and lets the other ball go down the ladder which triggers the drumroll and falls into the warp hole… and.. we have music?!?!
An example! http://www.bbc.co.uk/music/childrens/games/drumsteps/drumsteps_popup.shtml?drumsteps/1068/3deyouv
Main page: http://www.bbc.co.uk/music/childrens/games/drumsteps/

Literary perspective: “Fly on Wall”
Well now you can be on the wall, on the floor, in the kitchen - all to a funky beat whilst you collect blue thingies. Warning, it takes a while to load, but the graphics alone are worth it.
http://www.unit9.com/cs/clinic/clinicgame.swf

5-in-a-row-tic-tac-toe
I’m a poet and I don’t even know-it. (Ahem). A lot harder than 3-in-a-row, that’s for sure!
http://www.playdo.se/games/luffare/

For my fellow South Park fans
Use the options to make your very own SP character! Sadly, you cannot make a Mr. Hankey. I always wanted to make a poo that talked. (UPDATE: Rejoice! Now you can: http://www.throbbing.com/)
http://www.southparkstudios.com/games/create.html
My masterpiece:


The hidden dangers of rock collecting
This is some funny s***. Title: The Lonely Astronaut. Premise: Forgotten on the moon in 1972. Watch the pilot first, then the rest :)
http://www.dangertheater.com/la.html

Relive your childhood through corporate mascots
This is kind of eerie, since I was recently talking to some friends about forgotten cereals that we ate as kids. We came to the conclusion that in the majority of cereal commercials, someone is trying to steal the valued breakfast from someone else. Examples: Trix (”Silly Rabbit…”), Lucky Charms (That damn leprachaun), CooooooooOOOkie Crisp (Obvious: A cop, a criminal and a dog), Sugar Crisp (What dastardly plot to hoard Sugar Crisp will the Sugar bear thwart this time?), and of course that stupid stupid stupid STUPID computer-generated 3D-hairball that seems to lust after Honeycomb (but never gets it). Also of note was that stupid frog in a baseball hat promoting Smacks cereal, although I don’t think there was a “stealing” theme in those commercials. Well, for your nostalgic pleasure, here are cereal boxes of the ages.
http://theimaginaryworld.com/cbarch.html

Salt Lake City
Interesting in the very least - a little history blurb about the city of salt that lies beneath detroit.
Quote: “The mine itself is dry and clean as pure rock salt in a solid vein 35 feet thick is bound to be. The high vaulted rooms that we have hollowed out have sparkling white floors, walls and ceilings.”
http://www.detnews.com/history/salt/salt.htm

Combat technique or gay kama sutra?
Combat training manual, but with a slightly different mindset it reads quite differently!
http://www.adtdl.army.mil/cgi-bin/atdl.dll/fm/3-25.150/ch3.htm  

Impartial news reporting at its best
No comment.
Fox’s view of the BBC (Warning - large file)

Today was no expception to the week of wierd.  Naively, I thought that this whole idea was silly, but hey, life has a sick sense of humour.

So there’s this poster day happening at work on Monday.  I’m sure you’re already quite familiar with it from one of my previous posts (cough).  It’s a pretty big deal, really, and everyone needs to be presentable and present their poster to people who walk by.

Anyways, the posters arrive printed today, and they all look great.  I’m pleased with how mine turned out.  Unfortunately, a colleague pointed out that some of the pictures I used on the poster were of programs he created, and was upset that I had included them, even though I those programs in my work.  He had a point, but it still ruined the momment.  I’m going to be thinking of that the whole time on monday.  Actually, I won’t - I’ll probably be semi-unconcious.  I’ll get to that.

It just so happens that me and my roommates are throwing another party to launch spring break this Sunday.  Now, why on earth we picked a Sunday to hold a party will never be fully understood.  Especially since I realized later that hmm, Sunday is the day before MONDAY.  That is, the poster session day.  The day where everyone’s supposed to come in early for work to get ready with their presentations and posters.  The day where by the looks of it I’ll be going to sleep at around 3 am, and waking up at 7.  Not so bad, but there’s a chance that I’ll still be slightly drunk when I get into work.

So lots of stressing out going on over here.  I’ll figure this out somehow.  At least the workweek is over.

Motherfuc(bleep)er…

Look, I told you that I’ve been having an interesting week, and pretty much not in a good way.  Today was no exception.

Starts out lovely - I leave the house with my roommate to catch the bus, we’re late of course, and I’m running ahead to try and stop the bus from leaving (or something - I have no idea what I was thinking) and I hit a EVIL INVISIBLE LOOKS-LIKE-CONCRETE-TO-ME patch of ice on the sidewalk.  I go all wobbly, but something clicks in my head telling me that I’ll be ok if I place my other foot there.  I do so.

Welcome to evil invisible ice patch #2.

With no existing friction to speak of, I go down.  This all seemed to happen in slow-mo for me… it was kind of cool, until the pain came.

So I hurt my left knee.  I take a few moments, and walk it off.  Seems fine.  Later, at the bus stop, I notice red dots appearing on my jeans.  Shit.  I look around in vain for some clean snow.  This is Decarie boulevard - it’s not happening.  I apply the cleanest snow around onto my knee, but that turns out to be a horrible mistake, as I’ve just un-clogged the blood dam and folks, it looks like we have a gusher!  And the bus is coming.

Once aboard the sardine transporter, I try to stay balanced while I try to stop the bleeding with pressure.  I get strange looks.  Funny thing is that I don’t get offered a seat until a woman had to get off anyways.  I guess people aren’t that friendly in the mornings.

I try to clean up my jeans at work.  This is my second bad idea, as I end up simply spreading the blood around and making the spots much more noticeable. 

And of course, of all days, I have an interview for grad school at 4 p.m.  Somehow, I think blood-soaked pants would put my interviewers off a tad.

I rush home at lunch and throw on some new pants.  And my interview goes well.  I end up hardly talking at all - my participation  consisted almost entirely of the bobbing of my head: “uh-huh, uh-huh, yes, mmmh!”

Back of my mind to say to the professor: “Hey, want to see my knee?”

Let’s see what Friday brings.